Goods · Ships nationwide

Wear the specimen.

Our sauce can only be sold in Tennessee. Our shirts have no such problem. Everything here is printed to order on heavyweight garment-dyed cotton — small mark on the chest, the real work on the back.

01 — Tee · Natural

Specimen Plate

The full taxonomic plate, anatomical callouts and all. Rendered as if a chicken cat were a documented species and not an obvious lie.

Garment-dyed cotton | Natural | Front + back

02 — Tee · Black

Flavor First

The whole thesis in four words, set the size of a tour shirt. If someone reads the back of this and disagrees, you probably shouldn't cook for them.

Garment-dyed cotton | Black | Front + back

03 — Tee · Sand

Impossible Animals

Six hybrids that never existed, drawn like they were catalogued in 1880. A cockatrice, a horned hare, a winged hog, a goatfish, an owl-bull, and us.

Garment-dyed cotton | Sand | Front + back

04 — Tee · Faded Black

Cockatrice

A rooster with a serpent's tail, said to kill with a glance. Real heraldry, badly behaved. The one that looks least like it came from a condiment company.

Garment-dyed cotton | Faded black | Front + back

05 — Tee · Pepper

Nashville Sunburst

Seventies arch, radiating rays, city name underneath. The shape every good souvenir shirt has had since 1974, with a chimera in the middle of it.

Garment-dyed cotton | Pepper | Front + back

05 — Cap · Sage

Crest Cap

Six-panel, unstructured, the mark embroidered small on the front. The only thing here that doesn't explain itself.

Cotton twill | Sage | Embroidered | One size

06 — Tote · Natural

Specimen Tote

Heavyweight canvas, the plate printed large. Holds roughly eighteen bottles, which we have tested and do not recommend.

16 oz canvas | Natural | One size

Printed to order

Nothing sits
in a box.

Every piece here is made after you order it, on garment-dyed blanks, and shipped direct. No warehouse, no pallet of size-XL mistakes, no minimum we had to hit by guessing what you'd want.

It also means the shirts go everywhere the sauce can't. Batch 001 is Tennessee-only for now — the goods aren't.

Printed and shipped in 3–5 business days. Sizing runs true; garment-dyed cotton shrinks about half a size on a hot wash, so wash cold and hang it.